


The Birth of Claude

by PandoraButler



Category: Kuroshitsuji | Black Butler
Genre: Black Butler - Freeform, Kuroshitsuji - Freeform, M/M, Profanity, SebaCiel - Freeform, claude is a kid, claude is a shit kid but still a kid, claude is the lovechild of william and sebastian lmao, clearly labeled and skipable nsfw smut chapters, grellium, i suck at tags can't you tell, pedophilia? but not really because everyone is of age, possibly kinky, professor!william, rated mature because of triggerable things like suicidal thoughts and possibly actions, sebastian is a sexy teacher, soap operas never got this good lmao, teacher x student relationships, tutor!sebby, william and sebastian are married and having affairs, william is a college professor, william x sebastian
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-01-17
Updated: 2019-06-23
Packaged: 2019-10-15 07:46:25
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 19
Words: 22,277
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17524694
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PandoraButler/pseuds/PandoraButler
Summary: Sebastian and William are roommates in college. At first they exist simply to annoy each other, but then their feelings turn into something quite different...





	1. Prologue: [Part One]

Upon remembering the past it's important not to forget the present. William was incredibly fond of that notion. You see, what he means by this is: it's important to remember the present in the time of the past with relationship to when you made the decision. In other words, the feelings felt should always be remembered  _with_  the memory. 

It's because of this notion that William has  _never_ regretted a single decision in his life. Each choice was made in the moment as a reaction to the feelings felt in that  _specific_ moment. This decision, to go to this college, to board with this man, might be the  _only_ instance in which he has had second thoughts. Sebastian Michaelis was  _not_ a man he enjoyed spending time with. He was the exact opposite of him in every way imaginable. William was a proper. He was dedicated to his education. He was interested in pursuing his doctorates degree. Sebastian was a playboy. He was only interested in getting into the pants of every individual on campus. The two could never and would never get along.

"William, are you  _sure_ you don't want to lighten up a bit? I know it's the start of a new semester but do you  _really_ have to spend so much time studying for something that you haven't even taken the time to learn yet?" Sebastian inquired. He was on a mission to get this guy out of his room. Why? For the simple reason that he didn't have a date to the party and he wasn't about to walk into that room without someone clinging to his arm. It didn't matter that the 'someone' would be William, it just had to be  _someone_.

"The day I 'lighten up,' as you put it, is the day I drop out of college and decide to work at a fast food restaurant for the rest of my life," William said as he adjusted his glasses and proceeded to ignore the fool of a man.

"I won't stand for this!" Sebastian grabbed William's arm and dragged him out of his chair.

"Michaelis, what do you think you're doing?" Mr. all-business-no-play asked. He had no intentions of fighting back, that would be a wasted effort, William didn't go to the gym or play nearly as many sports as Sebastian did. He had played some in high school, so he wasn't completely out of shape, but he still wasn't in the condition Sebastian was. 

"I'm taking you to this party and you're going to get wasted. Feel free to thank me later," Sebastian winked. William sighed. He'd refused on  _multiple_ occasions but there was no reasoning with Sebastian.

The blaring noise of what  _seemed_ to be music combined with the large group of drunk individuals was certainly a sight that William wished he could forget about. Bodies crashing into each other. People dancing on top of one another. The strange interactions between humans was always something of confusion. Once Sebastian had his fill of drinks and forgot about him completely, he would make his escape. Sebastian was a social specimen of human nature. He wouldn't think twice about leaving William to the dogs and trying to pick up a new chick. Or, so William hoped.

" _Spears_ ," Sebastian snickered as he giddily drank his...fifth? sixth? seventh solo cup? William had no interest in consuming the mystery concoction of alcohol and (most likely) drugs.

"Your name is hilarious, don't you know that? It fits you so well," Sebastian continued to snicker off and on. "You throw spears with your eyes. You glare at everyone all of the time. Come'ere, let me take those glasses of yours off. I wanna see your  _face_." Sebastian reached for William's eyeware but William brushed his hand aside. He most certainly did  _not_  want those filthy hands all over his lenses. Do you know how hard it is to keep these things clean?

"I believe you've had too much to drink and are mistaking me for one of your targets," William sighed. Sebastian gasped and draped his arm around William's shoulder.

"Targets? Don't make it sound so rude. I'm perfectly serious about every woman I meet. Every man too," he smiled that devilish grin of his. William simply rolled his eyes and attempted to remove the arm.

"There are far more attractive and willing individuals to waste your time on, Michaelis," William stood up to leave. It seemed Sebastian had no intentions of leaving him alone, so it was time to change tactics. He would just go back to the room himself and forget 'being nice.'

Sebastian grabbed William's hand and stood up too. He placed a hand at the base of William's back and pushed the male towards him so their bodies were almost connected. "But that's what makes it so fun, you see? William, you play so hard to get but I know you're just as interested as everyone else."

"I don't have time for your games, Michaelis. I have things I need to do." William had no wish to get into a futile debate with a drunk man. He just wanted to return to the room where it was quiet.

"It's not a game. I'm quite serious about you," Sebastian leaned in to kiss William. He blocked it with his hand.

"I'm quite serious about you too," William began, "so serious about the fact that I hate your guts. Sebastian Michaelis, you are the  _last_ person in this entire college that I'd want to be with. Check yourself for sexually transmitted diseases before claiming so foolishly that you're 'not playing a game.'" William used the shocked expression on Sebastian's face as a sign it was the perfect opportunity to escape his grasp and go on his way. He did this very thing. Perhaps now Sebastian would learn a thing or two before dragging William from his study session.


	2. Prologue: [Part Two]

_~a month later~_

"There," Sebastian threw a few papers down on William's desk. "I went and got my balls squeezed by a highly attractive young nurse just to  _prove_ to you I'm not a dumbass. I know how to have protected sex, William." He crossed his arms and looked satisfied. There was more than that, wasn't there? Sebastian didn't go out of his way just to prove a point. Granted, that was part of his charm, but there was something else he wanted out of this conversation.

"Congratulations, Michaelis," William said. "What does this have to do with me?" he asked as he collected the papers and handed them back to Sebastian. He had no interest in whatever it was Sebastian was planning, but he figured since it (most likely) involved him he had a right to know. 

Sebastian placed his hand on the desk and leaned down to look William in the eyes. "Have sex with me."

"I have no interest in being intimate with the likes of  _you,_ " William replied without so much as an inkling of emotion. He grabbed Sebastian's hand and removed it from his desk.

"I don't understand," Sebastian threw his hands in the air. "I make  _straight_ men fall to their knees on a daily basis. I can seduce  _any_ women I've ever talked to. What makes  _you_ so special? Are you ace? Is that it? Please tell me you're ace. I don't know what else would make sense."

"Michaelis," William turned around in his chair and sighed. "Have you ever considered that the world doesn't revolve around you? There  _are_  people out there that aren't interested in being with someone who is so clearly uncommitted to their partner. People don't always think of sex as  _sex_. There are some that find it to be a very emotionally connecting activity that bonds two people together that truly care about each other."

"I never thought I'd see the day when  _you_  of all people said something so endearing," Sebastian admitted. He statement revealed that he was half surprised and half mocking William. But, Sebastian was always doing both of those things. William had plenty of retorts, he just chose to keep most of them to himself. Sebastian hadn't reached his level yet.

"I'm not saying that is what  _I_  believe but there is a certain level of emotion required to procreate," William turned back around in his chair and continued working.

"What are you saying? That you're a stone-cold bastard that doesn't care about anyone or anything?" Sebastian scoffed.

"Yes, that's exactly what I'm saying. Now, leave me alone." William didn't care what Sebastian or anyone else thought of him. As long as he was true to himself and his actions were not ones that he regretted, he would be able to live a satisfactory life.

"Who threw a stick up your ass? You're being so difficult! It's just  _sex_! Just do it! Humor me and it'll all be over for you!" Sebastian pleaded. There had been something on his mind for the past few days, or so William had observed. He was being a bit more attached than normal. He was also going out less and less. Could it be that Sebastian was developing feelings for him? William pushed the thought to the side. Who in their right mind would develop feelings for  _him_? Of all people...

"Not everyone wants to have sex with you," William shot a glare. So, that was only partially true. William had entertained the idea on occasion, but only because he couldn't imagine why  _everyone,_  and he means  _everyone,_  wanted to bed Sebastian so badly. Sure, he had a rather attractive body, a nice face, and a smooth tongue, but everything else about him was so... _sleazy._

"Yes they do, I mean look at me!" Sebastian gestured to himself. William wasn't looking at him but he might as well gesture anyway. It's the thought that counts. William still couldn't fathom how Sebastian was worth anyone's salt.

William sighed deeply and took off his glasses. He squeezed the bridge of his nose and closed his eyes for a moment. "If I have sex with you, will you finally leave me alone?" he asked. The poor man was desperate for solitude. Sebastian was getting on his last nerve. Holding out on him only made the guy more interested. If he gave him what he wanted, like all of the others before him, maybe he would be free of the demon's curse. Sex fiend. Incubus. Devil. William just wanted a room to himself, but that was too good to be true.

"If that's what it takes," Sebastian smiled. "I'm willing to do  _anything_  for sex."

"Swear on your life because if you test me I will end up murdering you," William glared. Sebastian wanted to assume this threat was hollow, but William glaring without his glasses somehow made it all the more real. It sent a chill down Sebastian's spine. When faced with death, there isn't much to be done but swear on your honor. That's Sebastian's motto. Or, it is for today at least.

"I solemnly swear," Sebastian crossed his heart. He didn't hope to die but that would be the end result, probably. Just one more person to add to the list of people out to kill him. The only problem would be the fact they were roommates...that might make running from death a bit harder.

William stood up and loosened his tie. "Then let's get this over with," he glared. One moment of pain would bring months of peace. It should be worth it in the end, right?


	3. Prologue: [Part Three]

William experienced a brief moment of solitude for about three days. On the fourth day, Sebastian was back at it again with his incessant refusal to leave William be. If any more of this nonsense occurred, William would have to retreat to the nearest library. He hated being there, but at least it was  _quiet_. Unlike his current lodgings, the library had a sense of decency. People were there to get things done. And, it was the one place William was certain Sebastian would never step foot in.

"William, Willy, Will, T., Spears, Spear, Spoon, Spider, Spatula," Sebastian plopped his butt on the twin sized bed and continued butchering William's name in attempts to get him to respond. William, on his last thread of sanity, threw a pen directly by Sebastian's head. The impact it made with the wall was so intense, that the pen was now in the depths of said wall and would never come back to it's homeland. Such a shame, really, that pen was one of William's favorites.

"What could you possibly want from me?" William turned around in his desk chair to face Sebastian. He crossed his legs and folded his hands. It took every ounce of his self-control not to strangle his roommate.

"Let's have sex," he smiled.

"No."

"What about dinner?" Sebastian tilted his head, " _then_  sex."

"No," William reached for another pen.

"Before you try to assassinate me again, will you at least give me a viable reason?" Sebastian held up his hands. There weren't police here, just a defenseless human fighting an emotionless murderer. "From what I could tell, you seemed to enjoy yourself quite a bit. So, don't tell me that was an act. I won't believe you," Sebastian smirked.

"Why is it that people like  _you_  always become addicted to the things they can't have? I have no interest in this kind of relationship with you. You're my roommate. It's not practical. These things only turn out  _one_  way. One of the two involved develops feelings and gets hurt."

"Well, we both know  _you_  won't develop feelings so could it be that you're concerned about  _me_ getting hurt? I'm flattered, truly," Sebastian snickered.

"There is also the simple fact that you sleep around far too much," William adjusted his glasses before continuing, "I have no interest in receiving a sexually transmitted disease or illness." It was at this time that Sebastian would've responded with 'how do you know you don't have one already?' but he knew for a fact that William couldn't possibly get laid that much so he didn't bother saying it. Just look at the straight-laced guy...definitely not a lady's man.

" _William,_ I would be willing to do anything as long as it meant I could bed you again," Sebastian tried his best to make that sound romantic. It didn't. But that was fine. It caught William's ear nonetheless.

"Anything?" William's lip turned upward ever so slightly.

" _Anything_ ," Sebastian confirmed.

"Go get tested again and remain sexually inactive for a week. Then and only then, will I consider it," William turned around in his chair and went back to work. He was fully expecting Sebastian to refuse or fail. This was an easy win. What he didn't expect was Sebastian's determination to have sex with him again. He should've realized, but it still surprised him.

"I need to have my balls squeezed by a sexy nurse again? How much do you not trust me?" Sebastian sighed and laid on his bed. He wondered if he'd get the same nurse. Wouldn't  _that_  be entertaining?

"It's not you that I don't trust, it's the people you sleep with. You don't just get these things through sex, Michaelis. Bodily fluid, such as blood, can lead to catching a disease," William explained.

"But they're  _sexually transmitted_  how do you get them without  _sex_?" Sebastian angrily waved his arms at the ceiling.

"Did you not listen to me?  _Blood,_ Michaelis. A steamy French kiss with a stranger might very well lead to HIV if you bite their lip accidentally," William sighed. He wanted to be a college professor not a high school health teacher. Was Sebastian really this stupid or was he just being ignorant to get on William's nerves? Both. Probably both.

"There is no getting out of this then?"

"Not if your dedicated to your cause," William said. "You could always continue your endeavor to sleep with everyone under the sun, even if none of them give you the same satisfaction as I did."

"Quite confident, aren't you?" Sebastian scoffed.

"Not confident, I just know," William turned his head to properly smirk at Sebastian for the first time in the entirety that they knew each other. "There are rumors, you know, about how the playboy can't get it up anymore."

"What the fuck?! What do you mean rumors!"

William's eyes gleamed with amusement but he returned to facing his pile of books. "I'm kidding, of course," he lied. William kept tabs on all of the things Sebastian did in case anything was illegal and could jeopardize him in any way. His underground network of information was surprisingly effective. He was flattered, really, that Sebastian had lost all ability because of him. Sure, he had been joking about some of the 'rumor' but the point was still the same.

"For the record, it's not like that at all. I just haven't been feeling fulfilled," Sebastian rolled on his side with his back facing William. The entire truth of the matter was the sex didn't feel as good. He'd assumed William drugged him or something. Maybe this was the imp's ultimate prank. Get a playboy to have sex with a loser one time, and boom, he can never have sex the same again. Truth hurts.

"It's practically the same thing as far as you're concerned," William held back a chuckle. Sex was Sebastian's drug whether he admitted it or not. He wouldn't last the week and everything would go back to how it was before. Right?


	4. Prologue: [Part Four]

"I've done it!" Sebastian yelled with triumph as he ran through the door.

"Congratulations," William said. "You've done  _what_  exactly?" William already knew the reason for Sebastian's excitement due to his sources but he still feigned ignorance. Sebastian  _did_  have sex with the nurse  _before_  he started the week of abstinence and  _before_  they got samples for testing so William accepted it. Loopholes were Sebastian's specialty.

"I've managed to stay sex free for a week, as required,  _and_ I got the test again!" Sebastian threw the papers on William's desk.

"There will be rules," William began. He didn't need to think about the situation anymore. He'd already thought about it long enough during Sebastian's week. He just didn't understand  _why_  he was okay with participating in such a thing. That was the real problem here. "Firstly, try your best not to get attached. Secondly, you can sleep with whomever you wish, but the arrangement will end and never again begin once I find out."

Sebastian in  _no_ way wanted to jeopardize his only outlet of satisfaction. William has already proven to know everything under the sun. He was going to be faithful to his sex partner, even if there wasn't any hope of a real relationship. "Deal," he offered his hand for William to shake.

"Thirdly, if I ask you to leave me alone," William took his glasses off and glared, "you better damn well leave me alone." Sebastian felt chills at the sudden hostility. He'd fallen for William without realizing. He wouldn't realize it though. He wouldn't ever accept it. He just fell for the sex. That's all. Sebastian in his pit of denial thirsted for this secretive incubus. It was all part of the game.

William stood up and grabbed Sebastian's hand. He pulled the man closer to him so that their faces were mere inches apart.

"Shall we begin?"

. . .

William dried his hair with one towel as another hung loosely around his waist. Droplets of water cascaded down his body but he ignored them. He could feel Sebastian's gaze but he couldn't see the man for the life of him. William was incredibly nearsighted. He could see basic blobs but couldn't tell what they were. He only got around without glasses by making educated guesses.

Reaching for a shirt and some sort of pants, he got dressed and made his way to the door. His hair messy due to no comb, his face a bit angry looking due to the massive squinting, but he could manage walking to a convenience store if he had to.

"Where are you going?" Sebastian inquired. "You can barely see a foot in front of you."

"I can manage," William opened the door.

"I'll come with you," Sebastian offered. He rolled out of bed and immediately regretted it. Pain shot through his entire back. All he wanted to do was curl into a ball and wither away into nothingness. That's the price you pay for wanting a good sex life.

"You can't walk out of here like that," William observed. He didn't have to see Sebastian to know the mess he was in. The sound of him falling to the floor was enough.

"You can't walk out of here like  _that_ ," Sebastian gestured to William. "Put on your glasses, brush your hair, and button up your shirt all the way. Your looks have increased far too much for my liking. Go back to Boring William please and thank you. I won't be able to suffer peacefully knowing you actually stepped foot outside here like  _that_ ," he gestured again.

"The only person that is dying to get into my pants is  _you_ ," William rolled his eyes and left. Aside from the occasional whistle and glance in his direction. There wasn't anything unusual about his walk to the store. What  _was_  unusual, however, was the sight he saw upon returning. Sebastian was lying on his bed, in his best attire, sweating uncontrollably, while a woman with dark hair and glasses stared at him from William's desk chair.

"Terada?" William squinted. He couldn't see anything but the long black hair was enough to tell him it was his sister. The woman handed him his glasses. She was older than him but there was a likeness the two shared. One might think they were twins upon first glance. She looked exactly like William.

"Little brother, would you mind telling me why this young man was naked when I first arrived?" she pushed up her glasses with her finger causing a glare.

"Sebastian Michaelis is quite the playboy. He sleeps with anything that moves," William answered the question. He stood there looking stiff, as usual. No emotions on his face. Sebastian would've liked to see  _some_  sort of flustered look. He was freaking out beyond belief at the moment. He wasn't supposed to see this woman again but here she was...and she was the sister to his roommate? They'd just gotten on sex partner level and now she would ruin it all. He could feel it.

"Little brother," she began, "I'm pregnant." Sebastian's sweating increased.

"Are you certain? Isn't it too soon to tell?' Sebastian asked.

"Oh? So you're the father?" William shot a very cold look to his new fuck buddy. "I should be surprised but I'm not," he stared his sister in the eyes and continued, "You're a nurse Terada, you know all of your options. Why are you telling me?"

Terada smiled at her stomach. A gentle expression that made Sebastian flustered. He'd only slept with her because she looked so much like William. He knew for certain William would never smile like that. "I'm sure you know that I've been wanting a child for years. A lapse in my judgement made it come a bit sooner than I thought. Your partner over here is quite..." she lost her train of thought trying to come up with a word to describe him.

"We are not partners, sister," William corrected. "We are two consenting parties in an arrangement."

"Explain it to yourself however you will. I'm keeping the kid. I just wanted you to know the whole story before our parents change it all," Terada stood up and placed her hands on William's shoulders.

"You can't have the child," William gritted his teeth.

"Can't I? Could it be that your jealous?"

"Don't be ridiculous. You  _cannot_  have that child," William repeated.

"Isn't it her choice?" Sebastian interrupted. He didn't have a right to say anything but he felt left out of the conversation. That wasn't his style. Although, it also wasn't his style to get people pregnant. Well, it happened so he didn't have much he could do about that.

"Not when her life is at risk," William glared. "My sister is weak. She has been prone to have a poor immune system. Giving birth is not something she can handle. I've calculated it out many times."

"It'll be fine," she smiled and made her way out the door.

"It will  _not_  be fine," William sat on the floor contemplating a lot of things. First, Sebastian fucked his sister for the hell of it (whether Sebastian realized it or not wasn't the issue). Second, that scenario was going to kill his sister. It might as well have been Sebastian's fault. No, she would've gotten some other guy. The father didn't matter. Terada just wanted to be a mother.

"For the record, I didn't know she was your sister," Sebastian admitted.

"I'm sure you didn't. You probably just saw an opportunity like the manwhore you are and took it. Your first visit to get tested, by a spring of luck, my sister happened to be your nurse. Am I wrong? Then, by another spring of luck, you got her a second time on your second visit."

"What kind of person do you think I am William?!" Sebastian raised his voice a bit. "I went there for  _you_. I couldn't get my mind off of you one bit! How was I supposed to know we'd eventually reach this arrangement of ours? I didn't think you'd ever have sex with me! So, I saw a chick that looked like you and I took the chance. Do you expect anything less of me? You've known me for years now."

William took a deep breath in an exhaled. He took off his glasses and placed them on the desk. He grabbed the bridge of his nose and attempted to control whatever it was that he was feeling, but he couldn't. He was furious deep down and that anger was going to escape. Terada was perhaps the only person in the world that William felt a connection to, and now, because of his roommate, because of her stupidity, that person was going to die. William walked over to Sebastian's bed. He grabbed the man's shirt and brought his face close to his.

"I'm going to make you regret ever wanting to have sex with me. I'm going to fuck you so much, so long, so terribly, you're never going to be able to have sex again. You'll never be able to sleep with a woman or even another man. Prepare yourself," William's rage would be one of the very few emotions Sebastian ever saw. But, a part of him was turned on, and he hated himself for it.

"Bring it on, virgin prince," he smirked.

"You will eat those words, Michaelis."


	5. Prologue: [Part Five]

"Let's get married," Sebastian said. His face held no emotion. The two had been in this arrangement for about a year, the same length of time as the pregnancy. Just as William expected, Terada died. She died a painful excruciating death with William there every step of the way. He witnessed the birth of a new life just as he witnessed the death of another. He never cried. He never got angry. He simply watched the fall of his sister with cold eyes. He'd warned her...that was all he could've done. His anger towards Sebastian had subsided over the months. It had turned into an unimaginable grief that was held in the depths of his soul. He refused to feel it. He refused to acknowledge it.

"You want to marry me for what reason?" William asked.

"It's mutually beneficial and it will solidify our contract. William, I know you care about your sister and it's partially, no, it  _is_ my fault that she ended up like this. You can care for the kid for your sister's sake and I'll be taking responsibility. We can help each other cope with our crimes," Sebastian tried to explain. "Besides," he forced a laugh, "we already fight like an old married couple."

"Fine," William agreed. "Let's get married then." He didn't have it in him to refuse. There wasn't a fighting spirit left anywhere in the man, not anymore.

"William," Sebastian grabbed William's hand. "I know it doesn't seem like it, but I care about you, you know? It's impossible for you to feel the same...but for now...it would be nice to think that you'll feel the same one day."

"I'm sorry," William pulled his hand away, "but we both know that won't happen."

"I know," Sebastian replied albeit sadly. "I was the one who killed your sister after all. You did say that you'd make my life a living hell..."

"No, Michaelis, it's not about that. You already know the type of person I am. Do you really think it possible for me to think of anyone other than myself?" William clutched his hair and stared at the ground. "Even now, as I think about that child...the only thoughts crossing my mind are the financial debts we'll get ourselves into with this marriage. That isn't human, is it? If I'm not human, what am I? Michaelis...I can't  _feel_  anything. I've just lost the most important person in my life and...I still...I can't..." William looked up at Sebastian, his eyes conflicted laced with pain. "I can't even  _cry_."

Sebastian didn't know what to say to that. Words wouldn't form. He'd comforted a multitude of women in the past but he couldn't find the words to comfort the person that needed it the most right now. William let out a pained laugh. "I'm no longer human, Michaelis. I don't know what I am. I stare at death from the eyes of a reaper, not a mortal," William sighed.

"It's okay, William," Sebastian put his arm around the man to pull him into a half hug. "Not everyone has to be human. Humans aren't all that great to begin with."

The two went through the necessary paperwork. They filled out all of the right forms. They got married. They adopted the kid. His name was Claude. For some reason or another, the two couldn't think of who's name he should take. The two themselves didn't combine their last names or change them upon getting married. They were married in paper and not heart. No ceremony, no celebration, the two went on just like always. The only thing different was now they were living in an apartment instead of a dorm room.

After much thought, they decided on 'Faustus.' It was an inside joke. Faust, the man who sold his soul to the devil, that was the root of the surname. With William being a cold demon and Sebastian a seductive one, it only seemed fitting. Claude would have to sell his soul to survive them as parents.

Living had become a harder task with an extra mouth to feed. The two took shifts changing diapers and feeding the damned beast while also trying to pass classes. It was a difficult time. Claude was four years old when William finally managed to get his degree. He was a doctor, of English, but a doctor nonetheless. Dr. William T. Spears. He became a professor, a real money making job. Sebastian had...well...he was long since graduated and making a decent living. One step down from college professor but it takes a demon to know a demon and he figured teaching high school chemistry was just the way to go.

The boy, Claude, had taken the likeness of William. He looked like William, acted like William, and overall seemed to enjoy William better. However, he seemed to flirt with everything under the sun without realizing at all that he was flirting, something clearly learned from his biological father (minus the not realizing part).

The (almost) five year old boy wandered into his (adopted) father's office. One day, William would explain to him that they are technically uncle and nephew, but instead he allowed Claude to think of him however he wished. William had no intentions of lying, but he certainly wouldn't correct any of Sebastian's lies unless he absolutely must.

"Daddy won't let me call him 'daddy,'" Claude sobbed as he clung to William's leg.

"Well, Michaelis, what do you have to say for yourself?" William glanced at the door. The culprit (Sebastian) stood with his arms crossed and his body leaning against the doorway.

"Claude is far too young to be calling people 'daddy.' He should call me by my name, that's what names are for after all. But, apparently it runs in the family. I  _still_  can't convince you to call me 'Sebastian' instead of 'Michaelis.'" Sebastian rolled his eyes.

"How about a compromise then, since you're corrupting him at such a young age. Claude, you can call him 'Dad,'" William fixed the problem. The two were related in such a sense. He might as well call Sebastian what Sebastian was. William only wanted to know why it was  _now_  that Claude had found such a fascination with titles. Wasn't calling them 'glasses' and 'fake butler' good enough?

"Then, what do I call you?" Claude looked up at William's face eagerly.

"I'm not your mother, so my name should suffice," William replied.

"'Father,'" Sebastian said. If he had to be called 'Dad' then William should be 'Father' and that's just how it was going to be.

Claude had never questioned before why he had two dads. He just figured two was better than one. Most of the people in his class came from single household families. They only had one parent, but he had two, and it was a source of pride. He was too young to understand the questioning gazes of adults around him when he said he had two dads. It was fine like this. He was fine like this. He was innocent and young with a perverted high school teacher as a dad and a smart-ass college professor as a father. Life was fine.

"Father," Claude began his next form of inquiry, "do you love Dad?" Sebastian and William were both shocked at this question. Sebastian a bit less shocked and a bit more eager to know the truth. He had grown to love William, but he wasn't sure if the opposite was true.

"I don't have an answer to that question," William replied. He wasn't going to lie and he wasn't going to spend hours to explain the truth. So, this would have to do for now. William was almost 99% certain that he was aromantic and homosexual but there was still that last 1% leading him to question things. It wasn't that he didn't care about Sebastian, he'd grown to, but he wasn't sure if he  _loved_  Sebastian. Maybe there was someone else out there that would awaken his romantic feelings. William didn't know if he was aromantic or if he'd built up too many walls. Perhaps it was a bit of both. But, he would never know if he never found the right person. Until then, all he could do was live in the current moment and provide no definitive answer to the question.

"Do you love me?" Claude asked. William froze. He certainly cared about Claude, because of his sister, but he had mixed feelings because of Sebastian's part in it. He wanted to love Claude...but there was just something he couldn't commit to. He remained silent.

"Of course he does!" Sebastian answered for him. The man walked over and picked up Claude from under his arms before swinging him around. "Who wouldn't love this adorable little boy of mine?" Claude giggled.

"Now, let's get you off to bed so you're ready for tomorrow," Sebastian put him down and followed him out. William, still dumbfounded by the question, sat there with that cold look of his. In his eyes hid a flicker of emotion but he couldn't pinpoint  _which_ emotion.

"I'm truly nothing more than a hardhearted bastard," William admitted to himself. "I don't have a right to be here."


	6. Prologue: [Part Six]

"After carefully considering it, I think I should leave," William said. Claude was sound asleep and William hadn't moved an inch in hours. Sebastian had just walked through the door to make sure he wasn't broken and this sentence was the first thing he heard.

"What the hell does that mean?" Sebastian wanted to yell, but he couldn't wake up Claude now. It took forever for the kid to drift into dreamland.

"If I can't even figure out if I love my sister's child, how am I supposed to help raise him with enough nurture and care?" William looked at Sebastian. "I'll turn into my own father and that is the  _last_  thing I would force upon anyone."

"No, I'll tell you what is the last thing you'd want to do to an impressionable kid," Sebastian walked over and slammed his hand on the desk. "Abandoning him is going to hurt him a lot more than a father that couldn't express emotions. Trust me, I would know. Now you listen to me and you listen well," Sebastian pointed a finger at William. "You're staying here, you're raising him with me because that's what we agreed on. He knows you, William, and he cares enough about you for the both of you. Don't leave him, or me, because you think you're too much of a robot."

"Would you love me? If we hadn't been roommates, if we hadn't had sex, if we'd just talked to each other a total of three times, would  _you_ even love me?" William asked. Sebastian couldn't respond. The vulnerability in William's eyes was too much for him to handle. "You don't have to answer that, I know the truth already," William hid his face in his hands, "people don't love the kind of person I am, so how do you expect me to even fathom what love is enough to love a kid? He might think he cares now, but he will grow up to hate me."

"It doesn't matter what kind of scenarios you concoct, this is reality," Sebastian said. "I  _do_  love you, William. We might not have the relationship of a movie but we don't  _have_  to. Those are fictional stories written by a loser obsessed with the impossible. Relationships aren't that perfect. We love each other in our own way. It's fine like that."

"Michaelis..." droplets of salty fluid cascaded down the arms of William. The tears bled through his fingers and fell to his pants. He was crying. It wasn't the first time in his life but it certainly was the first time Sebastian had seen it. Sebastian wasn't sure what to do. Should he hug him? Say something to him? Ignore him and leave him alone? William wasn't the type to do this. Had they reached a milestone in their marriage?

Sebastian concluded that the robot of a man hadn't had enough hugs in his life. He wrapped his arms around the body and held it close. William didn't refuse but didn't necessarily welcome it. The feeling of someone attempting to comfort him wasn't something he knew how to respond to. William instead ignored the whole scenario. He wished his tears to stop but they didn't. He didn't know what to feel or what he was even feeling to begin with. He just knew liquid was emerging from his eyes and he couldn't stop it. The last time this had happened was when he was a child and experienced death for the first time. A pet had died and never again had liquid emerged from his eyes. Was he broken? He felt broken. Was broken a feeling?

"I'm sorry," William apologized.

"For what?" Sebastian was genuinely confused.

" _Existing_ ," William answered. He was an unwanted child. He knew what it was like to have unloving parents. This was part of the reason he was so concerned about Claude. But, wasn't being concerned about not caring enough part of caring? His sister had been the favorite child, the wanted child, and she was gone. He would never again hear from his parents. They didn't want anything to do with him. It didn't matter how successful he was. He wasn't  _her_  and he never would be.

"You don't have to be sorry for existing, William. You just have to learn how to exist in a way that you're proud of," Sebastian said. It didn't make William feel any better but it didn't make him feel worse either. This was the best the two would ever get. They both were fucked up people living fucked up lives with fucked up parents trying to raise a kid so that he  _wasn't_  fucked up.

"Let's go to bed," Sebastian said. It was hard to hug someone when they were sitting in a chair and he was standing. At least in bed he could cuddle? Possibly? Okay, so Sebastian was a sex monster but he wasn't so much of a monster that he'd fuck a crying man, (unless, of course, that was a fetish of his).

William continued to hold his face with his hands. He refused to let Sebastian see him like this. He also refused to change out of his suit. So the two just laid there in the bed, fully clothed, with Sebastian hugging William.

"Are you going to sleep like this? Holding your face and still wearing your glasses?"

"Possibly, I'm stuck in this position. If I move my hands I'll just cover myself in snot. Not a very pleasant alternative," William replied. He'd stopped crying a bit ago.

"I'm not leaving you to go get tissues, so uh..." Sebastian separated himself for a moment and took off his shirt before offering it. "use my shirt."

"Isn't that your favorite shirt? I'm not going to use that."

"Just use it," Sebastian rolled his eyes. "Shirts are washable or did you forget that?"

William sat up and carefully removed his hands. It felt strange. They'd been in that position for a while that he'd almost forgotten how to use them. He used Sebastian's shirt, much to his chagrin, and tried to clean his face, nose, and arms a bit. He felt like a blob. He didn't feel things because he had just felt too many things. He wanted to sleep but was unsure of if he could.

He threw the shirt on the ground and laid back down in the bed. Sebastian clung to him again. "You don't have to stay with me, married yes, but we don't have to pretend to be lovers," William spoke.

"I know," Sebastian said. " _I know_ ," he repeated as he held William closer. "But I will. I'm always going to stay with you, William.  _Always_."


	7. Chapter One: {Part One}

There was a new student in the school. Sebastian had only seen him a few times. He wasn't short, per se, but he wasn't tall either. He did, however, have a wonderful aura about him. Sebastian didn't know if it was his hair color, his eyes, or his overall well-dressed nature. Apparently, the kid was a  _transfer_ student; he wasn't just new, he was from  _England_ and he'd be entering Sebastian's class. This was going to be a problem. Sebastian felt weird about the whole thing. This kid was up to something but Sebastian didn't know what... _yet_.

"Mr. Michaelis," a coworker called. Sebastian greeted them with a smile as they entered his classroom. "The new kid might be a bit of a handful, are you going to be okay? We can give him to someone else if you would prefer..."

"I'll be fine, thank you for your concern," Sebastian continued smiling (making minimal replies) until the person ended the gossip and left. He sighed. School was a mess. He would much rather join the hooligans selling drugs in the bathroom than teach his next class. When was that guy supposed to show up anyway? Was it today? Or tomorrow? What was his name again? It was something in French...Sebastian's brain wandered off to think about the reasons he first learned French. It was to impress ladies, naturally. French, the language of love, and letters that you don't pronounce. 

"Ciel Phantomhive," the infamous kid spoke as he sat down on Sebastian's desk and smiled. Sebastian hadn't even noticed him enter the room. Was he a ninja? Sebastian would never know. "You must be Mr. Michaelis. I've heard a lot about you." Really? From where? Sebastian didn't think many people talked about him. But, then again, he also didn't think that high school students took pictures of him in secret and sold them. 

"To what do I owe this pleasure?" Sebastian returned the smile. "Did you come here early just to grace my desk with your rear-end? Your seat is over there," Sebastian pointed. The kid didn't move a muscle and continued to stare into Sebastian's eyes. He was looking for something in them. Maybe the answer to a question, or maybe just an attempt at intimidation. This kid must be rich, his clothes  _screamed_ money. What rich person in this day and age wouldn't try intimidating someone? 

"Do you want to know a secret?" Ciel pointed to his eye, the one with just a  _slight_ tint of purple. Sebastian wouldn't have noticed it if the lighting had been any different. "This eye can see into the minds of the people it gazes upon. Mr. Michaelis, your mind is rather  _filthy_." Ciel got up off the desk and made his way over to the seat that Sebastian had pointed to. Sebastian wasn't one to believe in the things the psychic sort had to say, but he couldn't deny the fact that the interaction had been on his mind for the remainder of the day. Upon reaching home, he was still thoroughly puzzled.

"I think one of my students is out to get me," Sebastian reluctantly thought aloud. William stared at him, with his standard blank expression, and placed the fork back down on the table. He looked displeased, but that might've been Sebastian's imagination. What would William have to be displeased about? He was  _William_  for crying out loud. 

"Ah," realization hit Sebastian like a brick to the face. "That was a strange thing to say, wasn't it?" No wonder William looked like that. This wasn't the way to start a conversation after a long day. Saying the first thing on your mind was a bit rude. He didn't even bother to greet William, he just blurted out a thought about a student William knew nothing about.   

"It most certainly was," William agreed. "Mind explaining? That's the first thing you've said all night. Aren't you interested too, Claude?" William looked over to the kid. Claude nodded, smiling from ear to ear. Sebastian almost felt a bit guilty.  _Almost._

"There is a transfer student and he is in one of my classes," Sebastian began. "I think he is out to get me," he sighed. "It's only the first day of him in my class and he sat on my desk, basically picking a fight. I didn't do a single thing to him."

"Is that so?" William looked down at his half eaten plate of food. He'd lost all interest in eating. "It sounds like you have an admirer, not a delinquent," he noted. William had no intentions of delving deeper into that. His suspicions were almost never incorrect. William knew everything. Sebastian seemed to think so, at least. He had no idea how William got all of his information but he didn't dare do anything stupid. Getting William mad was one of the things he was most afraid of. Besides, they were finally starting to get closer to each other...or maybe it was all in Sebastian's mind.

"Come Claude, let's go on a walk," William held his hand out for the boy to grab. Claude grabbed it eagerly, and followed William out the door. William didn't look at Sebastian again. He just left. It was almost as if William was leaving the thought behind, not wanting to admit to himself that a student might have feelings for his husband. 

"I feel like I've said something wrong," Sebastian sighed. He didn't know what it was that he said that might've caused William to leave, Sebastian just knew he didn't want to think about Ciel anymore. This must be a part of the kid's game. He wouldn't play. He  _refused_. He'd made a decision right then and there, a promise to himself, not to submit to this student's foolish tricks. Sebastian just didn't realize how terribly he would fail. 

If a Phantomhive boy didn't get what he wished, he simply wasn't a Phantomhive boy. 


	8. Chapter One: {Part Two}

"Finally, this is how you diagram the bonds in these chemicals. Don't forget the octet rule in your homework due tomorrow," Sebastian placed the marker on the edge of the whiteboard and sat down at his desk to finish grading papers. This was a mystical sight unknown to many a high school student as teachers  _never_ graded papers let alone posted them in the online grade-book. The bell rang and the students hurried out the door, except  _one_. He had done this everyday this week. It was getting on Sebastian's last nerve. He understood now all of the pain he'd forced upon William. Poor guy. He just wanted to get his work done. Was this karma? This was karma, wasn't it?

"Is there something I can help you with, Ciel?" Sebastian asked with that smile of his. The boy continued to sit and stare at him. He didn't say a word. Students from the next class began entering the room. Still no movement. Sebastian began to wonder if the kid was dead. Should he make a scene? Or let him do as he wished? Perhaps security would 'gently' guide him to his next class. The student that usually sat where Ciel did in Sebastian's next class was looking a bit out of place.

"Are you going to grace me with your presence all day? Or are you going to continue your education?" Sebastian stared at Ciel until he answered. The room was quiet as all the students watched the interaction. Some were mentally placing bets as to who would win. Teacher vs Student. High schoolers loved watching that, as much as they didn't dare admit it. 

"Oh," Ciel looked startled. "I'm sorry, I got distracted by your handsome face," he smirked and gathered his things. This damned brat. Students whispered to each other about Ciel's sexuality. The transfer student was gay? Rumors would spread. This wouldn't end well for the kid. Sebastian wanted him to suffer for his own foolish flirting. But, he couldn't allow the statement to be made. It was out of place. They were teacher and student. Sebastian was a bastard but he wasn't  _that_  type of bastard. 

"Flattery will get you nowhere, my dear," Sebastian winked. He couldn't help himself. Laughter filled the room. The students had taken the interaction as a joke. Sebastian didn't know how to feel. He just let it happen. 

Ciel's face appeared to redden with embarrassment but Sebastian ignored it and began his next class. The problem child left without another word. He wouldn't have to worry about that any longer. Or, that's what he thought. After the tedious hours of school had passed, he was called into the principal's office. Sebastian hoped and begged this wasn't about his response to Ciel's statement. That wasn't worth being fired, was it? Maybe they just wanted to tell him about a trivial matter. They did that sometimes.

Sebastian sped up his walk. His shoes made a loud noise on the tile of the hallways. He turned sharply and nearly ran into a student. "My apologies," he began, until he realized this said student was Ciel Phantomhive.

"Mr. Michaelis," Ciel didn't look the least bit concerned. "I've been looking for you. Glad to see you could finally make it." Ciel grabbed Sebastian's hand and dragged him into the principal's office. This was certainly unusual. How long was he going to hold Sebastian's hand? Yes, Sebastian, that is the most important thing about this interaction. Sure. Okay. Don't worry about potentially getting fired, worry about how long a kid is going to hold your hand. Smart.

"There is a situation," the principal sighed. "The Phantomhive family is a very powerful one. We need you to satisfy this boy's whims. You will stay after school under the guise of tutoring. Don't get this establishment into trouble. Do as he wishes, do you understand?"

"No, I'm not sure I do," Sebastian snatched his hand away. "What is it  _exactly_  that you want me to do? Ciel isn't a student that needs tutoring services. He is perfectly capable of maintaining his own grades."

"Satisfy his  _whims_ ," the principal repeated.

"Be my dog, Mr. Michaelis," Ciel smirked. "You have to sit when I say 'sit.'"

Sebastian never thought he would use William as a means to get out of something, but this whole situation seemed off. So, he decided to try it. "I'm a married man, Sir. I can't stay after school everyday. I have a kid, a family, to care for."

"Do you want your job?" the man replied. "I suggest you don't speak of this to your spouse, or  _anyone_ for that matter. The tutoring will take place twice a week. That's all. I'm counting on you, Mr. Michaelis. My hands are tied here. Don't disappoint me."

Sebastian knew there was no getting out of this. "I understand," he tried his best to keep from sighing. What was he supposed to tell William? Should he trust that his superpower of knowing everything kicked in? But, what if it didn't? Ah, but their relationship wasn't the type to be entirely truthful. He should just act normal. Yes, that's it. It was just a tutoring session. What could possibly go wrong?

"I knew I should've become a stripper instead of going to college," Sebastian mumbled to himself while fumbling for his keys. "You don't have to think about anything when you're a stripper," he continued mumbling until he got into his car. A strange interaction with a student happened today. A strange interaction with his boss happened too. Sebastian just wanted to go home, pronto. 

"Strippers get easy money. It's not a bad career. Maybe I still have time to become one," he sighed. No, William wouldn't enjoy being married to a stripper. Or, would he? Maybe he'd surprise Sebastian. Perhaps he should give it a go. They'd afford a lot more if he became a stripper. How would Claude feel about it?

Sebastian's thoughts ran wild as he started his car. He wanted nothing more than to disappear, but just as he was about to leave...Ciel appeared outside the vehicle's door. The teacher had no choice but to roll his window down. "Do you need something?" Sebastian reluctantly asked. He was half tempted to run the kid over instead of talking. 

"Yes, I do," he smiled before kissing Sebastian. The man was too stunned to respond. Did that just happen? That  _had_ to be fake. A student didn't just kiss him. No. Definitely not. Ciel waved and left without any explanation. Sebastian sat for a moment. He didn't like where this was going. He certainly didn't want to find out where it would lead. 

"Damnit," Sebastian slammed his hand on the steering wheel before driving off. How would he explain this to William? Would he even discuss it at all? 


	9. Chapter One: {Part Three}

"Start from the beginning," William said. His facial expression hadn't changed once since Sebastian started his explanation. Did he even believe a word of what Sebastian was saying? It all sounded like he'd completely pulled it out of his ass. Which, of course, he totally had. What else was he supposed to tell William? He couldn't tell him that...yeah...this kid was totally trying to get into his pants....who would believe such nonsense?

"I'll be coming home late for the next few weeks. There are some things I need to do at the school and if I don't get them done...it'll be hell for me," Sebastian repeated his earlier statement. William didn't seem to be expecting more information but he didn't seem pleased with this response identical to the first one.

"Michaelis," William folded his hands and sighed before continuing, "this isn't the type of relationship where we have to be completely honest with one another. If you have something you don't want to tell me, I won't force it out of you, but in the future try not to make it so obvious that you're hiding something. Do you want me to go digging up your secrets out of curiosity?" Sebastian wasn't sure if this devil was teasing him or completely serious. Maybe it was both.

"You've caught me," Sebastian flopped down into the chair opposite to William. "There is this delinquent and they want me to 'tutor' him in hopes that my dashing good looks will cure his need to cause trouble," he lied. He would continue to lie. Telling William that a teenager stole a kiss from him was about the  _last_  thing he wanted to do. Telling William that this was a rich as fuck student with his boss wrapped around his little finger in order to force Sebastian in a corner was also the  _last_  thing he wanted to do. Call it pride, hubris, whatever you will, Sebastian wasn't about to lose a battle and he sure as hell wouldn't admit defeat (especially not to his husband). A kiss from a student didn't count as cheating...did it? Not that William cared anyway...

William remained silent. His face was the same as usual but Sebastian could've sworn William still suspected him of something. Could it be that he felt guilty? No. Sebastian? Feeling guilty? He hadn't felt guilty in years. It couldn't be that. "So, you'll be staying after school to tutor him?" William asked.

"Yeah, that's the gist of it," Sebastian admitted.

"Why didn't you just say that to begin with? Is that really something you have to try and hide? Or, is there something else you aren't telling me? Are you planning on seducing this student?" William's inquiry was right on the money. Although, Sebastian wasn't the one doing the seducing, it was the teenager. How the hell did William always see through everything?

"I'm not a goddamn pedophile, William," Sebastian refrained from raising his voice. Claude was asleep, the last thing he needed to explain to the kid was the definition of pedophile.

"Well then, there really isn't anything worth hiding is there? Honestly Michaelis, what you do in your spare time is no concern of mine but I do appreciate the courtesy of informing me that you'll be coming back later than usual," William replied. A pain unlike anything he'd felt before struck Sebastian's chest. William's words were hardly colder than usual, but for some reason he was hurt by them. They'd been together for quite a bit of time now and it seemed as if their relationship hadn't changed an ounce since the moment William first greeted Sebastian in the boarding house of their college. Now they were here, married, with a kid, and William still seemed so indifferent. There really was nothing for Sebastian to feel guilty about, not when William couldn't care less about him...

"Ah, yeah, you're welcome," Sebastian stood up and retreated to the bedroom. The pain in his chest still wouldn't leave.

"I wonder, does that guy feel anything at all?" Sebastian thought aloud. His voice just a whisper. He knew these thoughts were cruel. Of course William felt things, he just didn't allow himself to feel things as often as others. Something must've happened to him to make him like that. Sebastian felt like a royal bastard for even asking himself the question. He had no right to force emotions upon William. The last time the guy felt anything in front of him he had a meltdown.

"I know that it's a coping mechanism. I know that it's hard for him to express himself," Sebastian sat on the bed and sighed. "But, just once, it would be nice to have him say something,  _anything_ , about how he feels about me. I can't be the only one that cares, can I?" Sebastian breathed in and breathed out. He tried to calm himself down from whatever he was feeling. He wasn't sure what it was that he was even feeling. Guilt? Pain? Longing? None of those things seemed quite right.

His thoughts drifted to Ciel. What exactly did he feel about Ciel? Did he hate him? Love him? Was he going to be seduced by him? He hadn't been sought after like this before. Never had someone blackmailed him into doing anything. But, those were the days when Sebastian wasn't tied to anything. Now he had William. Now he had Claude. Had he changed so much? Just because he'd signed a piece of paper? William didn't think of their relationship like that. Why should he? No, these thoughts were wrong. He made a pact with William. They had an arrangement. Some high school rich boy wasn't going to change that. It didn't matter how much money he had. Ciel wasn't going to change anything. He wasn't.

But, for some reason, a gut feeling in the back of Sebastian's mind told him otherwise. He wanted to ignore it, but he couldn't, not forever.


	10. Chapter One: {Part Four}

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: Contains Teacher x Student relationship (not that you didn't already know that).  
> Slightly NSFW? If you squint

"Mr. Michaelis," Ciel Phantomhive closed the door behind him. This room was strange. All it consisted of was two chairs on opposing sides of a table. The table wasn't small, it was a normal rectangular piece of wood, but, the walls...there was nothing on them. There were no windows. The lighting felt strange. It wasn't that there was too little, no, there seemed to be too much. It bounced off of the white walls and blinded Sebastian's eyes. Something about this room made Sebastian uncomfortable. There was only one door and it was on the side Ciel was closest to. Was he being interrogated? Was this some sort of interrogation room? Why the hell would that be in a high school?

"This room was specially built for the two of us. There are no cameras, no rules, and it's in a part of the school where no one would ever notice it. I'd created the design myself and funded it. There is nothing to worry about. What happens in this room will only be known to us," he explained as the doorknob clicked. Did he lock it? Was Sebastian now locked in this room with a teenage brat? And there was no one at all that found that strange? Of course not, Ciel had everyone under his thumb. The only one who would get punished if anything went wrong would be Sebastian. He was the scapegoat, damn that principal.

"That's all well and good, but why would any of this be necessary?" Sebastian fiddled with the handcuffs keeping him in his chair. This brought back memories, not unpleasant ones, but memories all the same.

Ciel smiled and circled around the table. He sat on Sebastian's lap, straddling him. "I want you to feel comfortable," he said. Ciel brought his hands to Sebastian's hair and played with it. "I like you. You're not afraid to say what you think. You don't care about status or class. It's... _refreshing_." None of what Ciel was saying made Sebastian the slightest bit comfortable. Why was Ciel sitting on him? Why was he handcuffed? Why was he in a room alone with a boy that clearly wanted to get into his pants? Who was this kid's parent? Why did they raise him to be such a prat?

"Do I have any say in what goes on behind this door?" Sebastian asked. He regretted asking the moment he saw Ciel's eyes glimmer in amusement.

"No, not really," Ciel kissed Sebastian. This was the second time Sebastian was too shocked to do anything. He already knew something was crazy about this kid but now he knew it for certain. This was a damn setup. He had hoped that maybe somewhere along the way it actually would've turned into a tutoring session. But, nope, this kid was a horny bastard. Sebastian refused to play along. If a fight was what this kid wanted, then he wouldn't give him a fight, in fact, he wouldn't do anything at all.

"Are you just going to let me harass you?" Ciel looked confused. Oh, so you didn't think about this all that well did you? Do you even know the type of person your teacher is? Sebastian smiled. Maybe his first plan of attack would work after all. Would Ciel lose interest in a toy that didn't fight back?

"If a boy like you is interested in someone like me, an old man, I don't really see why I should be fighting," he answered. Sebastian hoped that age might make a difference. How old was this kid? He really didn't want to go in the news as a pedophile teacher. He also didn't want to submit because this kid had enough power to fire him and end his life as he knew it. If there was ever a time to regret not becoming a stripper, it was now.

"You're not that much older than me," Ciel confessed. He was still playing with Sebastian's hair. "There isn't really a problem, to be honest, besides the fact that you're my teacher. If we had met anywhere else...say...five years in the future...this kind of relationship wouldn't be that strange. You're only, what, ten years older than me? It's only weird because of the setting. I'm not underage. There isn't anything to feel bad about. It's not like things like this haven't happened before."

Fucking hell. Just how many screws did this kid have loose? He'd have to change tactics. "I am married, you know that right?"

"What happens in this room is between us. I told you, didn't I? This room is special. No one will know a single thing. Did I mention it was soundproof too?" Ciel smirked. "Whoever you're married too must not be that important. You don't wear a ring and you don't have any pictures of your family on your desk. You rarely talk about your home life. I've asked all of the faculty about you and they can't say they know a single thing." Ciel's smirk only appeared more devilish the longer he wore it.

Damnit. Sebastian couldn't fight with that logic. He wasn't in love with William so of course it looked like he didn't care. He  _did_ love the guy, but romance and love aren't always the same. Love comes in many forms. His love for William...whatever he  _felt_  towards William...Sebastian would never know if it was returned or even if it was truly romantic love.

"For today's tutoring session," Ciel ran a hand down Sebastian's chest. "I think I need a health lesson. Teach me anatomy," he said as he unbuttoned Sebastian's shirt. The teacher tried to resist where this was going. No amount of fiddling with these handcuffs helped him in any way. Was this specially designed too? Damnit.

"Humans start out with more bones at birth," Sebastian began, "then by the time they reach adulthood there are only two-hundred and six."

"Fascinating," Ciel didn't sound as if he cared what Sebastian said. He was only interested in one thing but continued to keep up the premise of a tutoring session. "We might have a problem, Mr. Michaelis. I have one extra bone."

Realization hit Sebastian like a brick to the face. He'd seen it coming but why did this kid have to be such a pervert? How was he supposed to keep this civil? His hands were quite literally tied. How much longer would this torture continue?

"You'll have to tell me how to fix it, Mr. Michaelis." The lights flickered as soon as Ciel finished his sentence. If that didn't send chills down Sebastian's spine he didn't know what would. Was he a demon? Was Sebastian being haunted by a sex obsessed ghost? He didn't know. He didn't want to find out.

"Well? Mr. Michaelis? I'm waiting for the instructions."

And wait he would. Sebastian would try his damn best to keep this civil. Ultimately, he would fail. He would fail so badly that all memory of William, Claude, Terada, college, would disappear for a moment. It was just him and Ciel in this room...at the edge of the universe where no one would bother them. It would only be after it was all over that memory returned and Sebastian...didn't know what to feel about what he'd just done. It was only after it was all over that Sebastian realized the true meaning of the word 'incubus.'


	11. Chapter One: {Part Five}

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I didn't proofread ^^" sorry for any weird typos

"You look awful. Was your student that terrible?" William spoke as soon as Sebastian entered the front door. His face was pale, his existence withered, he never wanted to think of the event again.

"You don't know the half of it," Sebastian rested his head on William's shoulder. "This must be some sort of twisted joke. Is this my karma coming back to bite me?" Sebastian laughed albeit helplessly. He wanted to complain about every single moment of him being in that room with Ciel but he couldn't. He didn't know when, or if, Ciel would ever use this against him. Sebastian would rather William be ignorant at the moment. It was just easier for everyone this way.

William slowly and carefully put his arms around Sebastian. It was a hug, of some sorts, or it would be if William wasn't so dreadfully awkward at it. "Are you trying to comfort me?" Sebastian asked.

"I'm sorry, it was a mistake," William began to remove his arms but Sebastian instead returned the hug.

"It's not a mistake. It's just a surprise," he admitted. This simple hug made the memory of Ciel a bit less of an issue. It brought about a sense of peace inside Sebastian. It wasn't often that William tried to be affectionate. In fact, this was probably the first time.

"Michaelis, I know I don't say this often, or at all, but I don't despise being with you. I may or may not love you but one thing is for certain; I don't hate you," William confessed. "Not anymore."

Guilt built up in Sebastian's chest. Why did William have to say this now? Of all times? After he'd just 'technically' cheated on him with a high school student. It wasn't his choice 'technically' but it still happened. William was finally opening up, just a bit, and if he found out anything about Ciel, all of those years leading to this moment would be worth nothing. Damn Ciel. Sebastian would have to take this secret to his grave.

"I saved you some dinner," William changed the subject and attempted to break free of the hug. Sebastian didn't allow it. He held William closer to him.

"I'm sorry," Sebastian blurted out. Damnit. He didn't want to say that. William's arms fell to his sides. He turned into a wooden plank confused out of his mind about this interaction.

"Why are you apologizing? Shouldn't I be the one sorry here?"

"I'm sorry, you might not understand why I'm sorry right now but I am," Sebastian was about to confess his sins right in this moment, but the thought of hurting William when he was trying to be open crushed that inkling. "I don't want you to feel like you have to force yourself to be more outwardly caring," he covered up his apology with a pinch of truth. The best way to lie is to lace the lie in something that isn't entirely false. Sebastian hated himself at the moment. Why was he such a piece of shit?

"What nonsense are you speaking? This isn't like you, Michaelis." William was right, it wasn't like Sebastian. He released William from his death grip and wandered into the kitchen where the plate of food was waiting for him. He didn't realize how much he was starving until the plate was in his hands.

"You're eating quite fast," William observed. "You haven't eaten this fast since the time you bedded three women in one night and were stressing about if they knew about it. This student of yours..." William never finished the sentence which only brought Sebastian more dread. Why did he think he could hide something like this? The guy was an observant as fuck.

"Is a real shit, the highest quality shit, but still shit," Sebastian grumbled.

"Is interested in you sexually." William's words almost caused Sebastian to drop his plate.

"Of course not," Sebastian laughed. "I mean, sure, I'm devilishly good looking but I haven't had a kid come after me. Most of them are too interested in people their age."

"Is that so?" William folded and unfolded his hands. "Michaelis..." he paused. The pause made Sebastian's heart beat rapidly. He saw through him. Of course he saw through him. Who would believe such obvious lying? Sebastian had lied all of his life but William saw through him as easily as reading a book.

"I don't know how else to say this so I'm just going to put it bluntly," William stopped repeatedly folding his hands. "Have you lost all interest in me?"

"What?"

"Hav-"

"Yeah, yeah, I heard what you said but where is this coming from?"

"There has been a noticeable decrease in your attempts to have sex with me," William reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. He brought up a chart and showed it to Sebastian.

"You made a chart?" Sebastian didn't know if he should laugh or be weirded out.

"Yes, I made a chart. I make charts. Don't act like this is a strange thing. It's no stranger than you having a notebook filled with tally marks to represent how many pants you managed to get into," William rolled his eyes. "Ah, no, I apologize. I wasn't intending on being snarky. I just wanted to check on your health."

"You think something is wrong with my health if I'm not having sex with you?" Sebastian was totally lost on William's train of thought.

"If you aren't having sex with me you're either having sex with someone else or not having sex at all. If you aren't having sex at all then yes, I'm quite concerned, because I'd like to plan for the end of the world," William explained. "Since that would be the  _only_ time your sex craving body would cease craving sex."

Sebastian put the plate back on the table. "If you were that interested in having sex you could've just asked."

"It wasn't my intention to bring you to that conclusion," William said. Sebastian moved closer to him.

"So you don't want to then?" he asked, just inches away from William's face.

"There is the Michaelis I know," William breathed a sigh of relief. "Glad to know you're not dying and the end of the world is not upon us," he said as he turned on his heel and made his way to the bedroom. He would fall asleep long before Sebastian had the courage to follow. 

"How did I manage to make it this far?" Sebastian sighed and ran a hand through his hair. "I can't lie to him forever," he mumbled, wishing that all of his problems would wisp away into the night. 


	12. Chapter Two: [Part One]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Chapter Two runs parallel to Chapter One.   
> The difference is that it's more William's POV. So, dialogue will be the same in some cases. 
> 
> I hope this makes sense and you aren't confused. 
> 
> Basically Part One in Chapter Two is Part One in Chapter One but is about what is going on in William's life at the time instead of Sebastian's (the whole chapter will be like that).

William stood before the class. He'd just dismissed them and was packing up his things. It wasn't often that a student had questions on the first day of the new semester. But, that wasn't to say it never happened at all. Today was one of those days. A student far too fascinated with the color red stood before him. Brilliant red hair, red glasses, a red coat. William briefly wondered why  _that_ particular color. In any case, he was sure to remember this individual for a while yet. 

"Professor Spears," the student began. His teeth were sharper than average, not that William cared. It was simply impossible not to notice those shark-like teeth. 

"Dr. Spears," William corrected. He'd worked far too long for the title just to have people never use it. 

"Dr. Spears," the student began again. "I have a question about this class," he said. William listened as best he could but the individual just continued rambling on and on. William couldn't pinpoint what it was he was asking. He answered the question to the best of his ability and left. He didn't notice the perplexed look on the student's face as he walked away. He also didn't notice the defeat hiding behind his eyes. William didn't pay attention to these subtle expressions and he didn't wish to. The only person he ever tried to figure out was Sebastian, and most of that was out of sheer boredom. 

Like now, for instance, (several hours after the student had tried to interact with him) the two husbands were sitting at the table with Claude eating together as some 'families' do, but Sebastian wasn't saying a word. He was barely even eating. This was quite unlike him. Many times William wanted to open his mouth and say something but he just didn't know what to say. He was relieved when Sebastian finally opened his mouth, but the words that escaped baffled him even more. 

"I think one of my students is out to get me," he said, before reaching planet Earth to join the rest of them. Sebastian finally looked William in the eyes. This was the first time he'd spoken since he'd walked through those doors. William didn't know how to respond. He placed his fork on the table and pondered the statement. Sebastian seemed a bit apologetic. 

"Ah, that was a strange thing to say, wasn't it?" Sebastian smiled a bit, as if to reassure William nothing was wrong with him. William wasn't so convinced. 

"It most certainly was," William agreed. "Mind explaining? That's the first thing you've said all night. Aren't you interested too, Claude?" William glanced at the child. He stared at Sebastian, wondering if the man would open up and talk to him. Or, perhaps, he would do what he always did and brush it off as if nothing had happened. William was used to that, he didn't particularly care. As much as Sebastian seemed to want William to speak about himself more, Sebastian was truly the more mysterious and secretive out of the two. 

"There is a transfer student and he is in one of my classes. I think he is out to get me. It's only the first day of him in my class and he sat on my desk, basically picking a fight," Sebastian replied. William thought about this for a moment. It wasn't often that a student was so outward about his (or her) thoughts towards Sebastian. Most of the students were fans of his looks. This truly was concerning. 

"Is that so?" William continued thinking. He found his gaze drifting towards the food, then it hit him. This was a classic predator vs prey scenario. If the student was being so outwardly aggressive, didn't that mean he just wanted Sebastian to notice him? Wasn't this a standard attention grabbing situation? And, it seemed to be working too since this student was all that Sebastian was thinking about tonight. "It sounds like you have an admirer, not a delinquent," William concluded. He couldn't think of any other explanation to this situation so he preferred not to continue the conversation. Sebastian must reach his own conclusions. Besides, his husband wasn't paying attention to him or Claude at the moment, maybe he just needed some time alone to think. 

"Come Claude, let's go on a walk," William held out his hand for the boy to grab. The two went on their merry way leaving Sebastian behind. William thought about his own student. The one with the strange obsession to wear red. He tried to think about the conversation the two had but he couldn't remember a single thing that made any sense about it. 

Two individuals in the corner of William's eye were talking to each other. They were on the opposite side of the street. From looking at the woman's body language it seemed as if she was flirting with the man. The man oblivious to it all. Wait,  _flirting_? William stopped walking for a moment. Was  _that_ what the redhead earlier today intended? Could it be that he wasn't asking a question at all but trying to strike a conversation? William hadn't noticed the intention and left so abruptly. The notion of someone trying to flirt with him (outside Sebastian) was so foreign. He wasn't sure he believed that conclusion. 

"Father?" Claude squeezed William's hand. "Are you okay?" 

"Yeah," William replied. "But, we should start heading back." William and Claude turned around and began their way back, when William noticed a familiar shade of red. 

"Dr. Spears?" the student from earlier nearly dropped his things when they made eye contact. He looked down at Claude for a moment, then back to William. "I didn't know you lived in this neighborhood. I can't believe we haven't seen more of each other over the years," he laughed. William thought it to be laced with some nervousness. 

"Indeed," was all he could say. William was too focused on trying not to be oblivious that he'd lost all ability to form sentences. This hadn't happened to him before. Luckily, Claude was there to ask questions. 

"Father, who is this?" the child looked up at William.

"This is one of my students," William paused. Had the guy ever introduced himself? 

"Grell, my name is Grell Sutcliff," he smiled at Claude. 

"Grell," William repeated and gestured to Claude, "this is Claude, my adopted son," he explained. Why had he made the distinction of adopted? Normally, William just said Claude was his son. Something about Grell was causing him to act differently, William didn't for the life of him understand why that was the case. But, he did notice a relieved expression on Grell's face from the word 'adopted.' 

William was too confused with himself. It was making him uncomfortable. He had to find a way out of this situation fast. "I suppose we will be seeing more of each other," William noted, "Goodnight, Mr. Sutcliff," he said before leading Claude away. 

"Goodnight, Dr. Spears," Grell waved, still looking a bit defeated at the early end to the interaction. William pushed the thought to the depths of his mind. Why would a person be interested in him? He was the least interesting person on the planet. He had to be mistaken. 


	13. Chapter Two: [Part Two]

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A few days ago I got the speech about intruder safety...so this kind of happened as my mind began to imagine *what if* scenarios. Sorry about this.

"Dr. Spears," Grell walked into William's office. "Do you believe in fate?" he asked. William barely looked up from his work. This was a familiar scene. Sebastian, and now Grell, he knew that his office hours were listed but never once did William think someone would actually visit him. Should he be pleased? Or concerned? 

"I cannot say that I do," William refused to look up at Grell. He didn't care about how rude he was being to the man, he had work to do. There were papers that needed grading. Nothing ever finished itself. 

"Well, I do," Grell smiled. The man didn't sit down, instead he continued standing in front of William's desk. 

"Congratulations," William said. He still hadn't looked up at the man. "Is there a reason for your visit? Or did you just wish to discuss the concept of fate?" 

"You can't honestly tell me that you don't get bored sitting in here during office hours. Doesn't it get lonely if people don't visit you?" Grell asked. William pondered the question for a brief moment. No. It didn't get lonely. He never even thought about it. It was true that not many people visited him...but did it matter? Didn't that mean not many of his students needed help? That he was teaching adequately? 

"Are you not going to talk to me now? Did I offend you in some way?" Grell frowned. William held up his finger to signal Grell to stop speaking. He'd just heard something; he sensed something, and it wasn't a good feeling. Something bad was about to happen. Was this the fate Grell spoke of? 

William stood up and walked over to the door of his office. He removed the lock-down magnet and closed the door, making sure to cover the small window with the black paper. There weren't any windows in this room, that was good. The door was locked. The door window covered. Grell still unsure what was going on and about to ask questions when the school's siren went off. 

"Oh my god," Grell panicked. "Is this happening? Is this really happening? The one day I decide not to skip classes and we have ourselves a school intruder?" Grell paced back and forth in the small room. William remaining calm all the while. He grabbed Grell's arm and dragged him to the corner of the room, the one blind spot of the door. 

"Calm down," William began, "Treat it as a drill. This college is known to keep people on their toes in that way. They have to make sure everyone is prepared for the worst, we aren't that far from the city." William's attempts at calming Grell down weren't the slightest bit helpful. 

William's ears weren't that much better than the average person's, but he did find them to be quite beneficial at times. He wasn't sure if he was better at hearing, or simply more observant to the things around him. In any case, he heard footsteps that sounded off. Not wanting Grell to get scared and scream, William placed a hand over the red-head's mouth. He pinned his student to the wall. For Grell, this was an odd turn of events, and he was partially thinking William was making a move on him. For William, he was simply thinking that if the stranger broke into the room, he could act as a shield and at least protect Grell from harm. Pretty standard teacher behavior in his mind. 

"Don't move. Don't panic. Try to keep your breathing steady and quiet," William whispered into Grell's ear. The guy's heartbeat was wild. Was he really that terrified? Or was it something else entirely? William still refused to think that Grell might be interested in him. 

The doorknob to the room shook violently. Whoever was out there clearly wanted in here. Why? William couldn't think of one thing in his office that was valuable. He heard muffled complaints as the doorknob still rattled. When the silence finally did cease, William waited for at least ten minutes before providing space between him and Grell. 

"I apologize if that made you uncomfortable," William adjusted his glasses. Adrenaline was pumping through his bloodstream. His hands were shaking but it wasn't that noticeable. 

"Oh my god, is he gone? Do you think we're safe?" Grell spoke in a hushed tone. 

William maneuvered to the door. He carefully lifted the window's covering to take a look outside. It didn't seem as if there was anyone there. The school's siren went off a second time to announce that the threat was over. William walked over to his computer to check his email. They should've sent him something if it was a drill. The problem was, that even though there was an email, and even though he knew in his brain that it was a drill...something was clearly wrong. He'd have to look into this later. A security guard wouldn't try to break into his office so badly. What was going on here? 

"There is no need to be alarmed," he assured Grell. "It seems this was a drill after all." 

"It's over?" Grell looked as if he was taking a moment to process it. When his brain was reconnected with his body he ran towards William and hugged him, crying on his shoulder. "I'm sorry, I'm just...it was so scary. I'm the fragile type..." he spoke between sobs. William, not used to comforting people, stood there awkwardly as his student cried. 

"I apologize," was all William could say in response. "I'm not the best at providing emotional support," he said. Being honest was the only thing he really knew how to do. 

"Sometimes, that's just what a really emotional person needs, a sturdy rock to keep them from crumbling," Grell replied. William hadn't thought about that before. It made sense to him. Even if the wet tear stains in his suit jacket didn't make any sense. Even if the closeness of the male standing here didn't make any sense. At least he understood the gist of it now.


	14. Chapter Two: [Part Three]

William sat at his chair at home. Thoughts of what had happened that day completely rattled him to his bones. He didn't know where to begin, where to end, or if he should even say anything about it to Sebastian. Would the man think he was being silly after getting so worked up over a drill? But, at the time it didn't feel like a drill. It felt real. William didn't understand feelings so he wondered if he should just ignore the whole thing and never mention a word. It wasn't that big of a deal, was it? He was so lost in thought that he hadn't heard a word of what Sebastian had said. He hadn't even noticed the man standing there. He hadn't noticed that his husband had entered the room or even said anything at all. Subconsciously, he'd responded to Sebastian as he usually did. His body must've recognized that he was there because William was staring right at the man without replying to him. 

William adjusted his glasses and tried to focus on the words Sebastian said. He couldn't. His mind trailed off. Eventually, Sebastian's mouth stopped moving. William didn't say anything. He inhaled and he exhaled and then replied, "Start from the beginning," hoping that Sebastian would start again and that he could follow him this time. Sebastian looked nervous. Had he heard about William's school intruder in the news? Or was this something entirely different? He couldn't tell. 

"I'll be coming home late for the next few weeks. There are some things I need to do at the school and if I don't get them done...it'll be hell for me," Sebastian said. William didn't understand why that was something he had to be so nervous about. Something else must've happened. He waited for more information to leave Sebastian's lips but when nothing came he decided to reply. 

"Michaelis," William folded his hands. He sighed. He usually sighed as a way of showing disapproval but in this case his sigh was an attempt to relieve himself from the discomfort. He was tense. He was still reliving the events from earlier in the day. When he realized that this was something he didn't want to talk about with Sebastian, he somehow understood why Sebastian might not want to talk about things with him. He wasn't angry about this. Things happened. Some things in life people just weren't ready to talk about. 

"This isn't the type of relationship where we have to be completely honest with one another. If you have something you don't want to tell me, I won't force it out of you, but in the future try not to make it so obvious that you're hiding something. Do you want me to go digging into your secrets out of curiosity?" William was speaking as he was talking to himself. He knew that there were things he didn't wish to say to Sebastian right now, and he hoped to the powers that be that he wasn't being obvious about hiding anything. He wouldn't look into Sebastian's current struggle, he had to focus on himself right now. So, he figured that was the best response he could give. He was fully prepared for Sebastian to exit the room, leave him alone, and not delve deeper into any of the issues, but Sebastian did none of those things. He sat down in his own chair opposite to William and continued to speak. 

"You've caught me," he said, sinking further into his chair, "There is this delinquent and they want me to 'tutor' him in hopes that my dashing good looks will cure his need to cause trouble." William sensed there was something Sebastian was purposefully leaving out about this problem child. Was this the same one that caused Sebastian to act weirdly before? The events took place too close to each other for it not to be. 

"So, you'll be staying after school to tutor him?" William asked. Truthfully, he didn't know what Sebastian expected him to say. 

"Yeah, that's the gist of it," Sebastian replied. William was skeptical. If Sebastian had truly just wanted to talk about his tutoring scenario, why didn't he just start with that? Or, perhaps he did and it was when William's brain was thinking about other things. William decided to give Sebastian the benefit of the doubt this time, just this once, because he didn't want to bother with looking into it further. 

"Why didn't you just say that to begin with? Is that really something you have to try and hide? Or, is there something else you aren't telling me? Are you planning on seducing this student?" William replied without intending to. Some of his thoughts made themselves vocal. The last part surprised himself. Seducing his student? There was an idea. William fully expected that kind of behavior from Sebastian. What he didn't expect...was that kind of behavior from himself. He'd pinned Grell to the wall putting them in a compromising position. Why was it only now that he realized how Grell might've interpreted that? Well, this was definitely going on the list of things he never wished to confess to Sebastian. Pinning an innocent stranger to a wall wasn't something a married man should do. 

"I'm not a goddamn pedophile, William," Sebastian looked agitated by the question. William wasn't sure if this agitation was because Sebastian did have feelings for the student and didn't want to admit them...or because he truly was angry about the insinuation of being a pedophile. 

"Well then, there really isn't anything worth hiding is there? Honestly, Michaelis, what you do in your spare time is no concern of mine but I do appreciate the courtesy of informing me that you'll be coming back later than usual," William noticed that his words were colder than usual. He was trying to maintain his shock, feelings, whatever was going on inside him. He was trying to convey the message that he had his own secrets he didn't wish to tell Sebastian. But, he might've gone about it the wrong way. It wasn't supposed to be this harsh, it just happened. 

"Ah, yeah, you're welcome," Sebastian stood up and left. William knew something was wrong. He knew he should apologize for being so...well... _him_. It took him a while but William stood up and followed Sebastian. He was going to enter the bedroom, (the place Sebastian had gone) but the mumbling caused his body to stop. Sebastian was saying something, William could hear it, and knew Sebastian didn't want him to hear it. So, he stopped. He stood outside the door and listened. This was just as wrong as saying harsh things, but William couldn't move from this spot. 

"I wonder, does that guy feel anything at all?" Sebastian's whispers rang loud and clear in William's ears. "I know that it's a coping mechanism. I know that it's hard for him to express himself...but, just once, it would be nice to have him say something,  _anything_ , about how he feels about me. I can't be the only one that cares, can I?"

The words struck a chord within William. He retreated to his office. He closed the door. He locked it. And, he slid down it to sit on the floor behind it. "I feel things," he grabbed his chest. "I  _do_ feel things, Michaelis," he whispered to himself and allowed the feelings to come. The shock was gone. It was just the fear, the anger, the resentment, the sorrow, the guilt, everything he'd felt during the day but repressed was coming out  _now_ , because of something Sebastian had said. 

"I feel too many things," he grabbed his head and curled up into a ball as the familiar warm liquid cascaded down his face. But, he didn't have someone to embrace him like Grell had clung to him earlier. He couldn't run into Sebastian's arms. It wasn't like him. It was out of character, and it would make Sebastian realize the gravity of what he'd said. He would know that William had heard him. And, William would have to explain the day's earlier events. He didn't want any of that. He just wanted to go back to how he was. He wanted to be calm, cold, and unfeeling. 

"I feel too many things," he repeated as he curled up into a ball on the floor. Stopping the feelings after the feelings had come was the most difficult part. But, eventually, he would return to normal, whatever 'normal' was. 


	15. Chapter Two: [Part Four]

Sebastian wasn't going to be home that night, neither was Claude for that matter. Claude had decided to spend the night with one of his friends. That left William all alone. He didn't usually care about being alone, but considering that he still wasn't completely over the school intruder incident, he decided to go for a walk. The calming night air, the stars, the buzzing of people all around him, it made him feel insignificant in the grand scheme of things. It was calming. 

He sat on a park bench and stared at the stars. He searched for constellations among them, counting each of the stars in those constellations, and he felt at peace. "Dr. Spears?" a voice spoke, he didn't look at the individual. He knew who it was. Only one person persistently showed up in his life at the moment: Grell Sutcliff. 

"Mr. Sutcliff, we've been running into each other a lot lately," William observed.

"Mind if I sit next to you?" Grell asked. When William didn't respond he took that as silent permission and sat next to the guy. 

"A lot has happened recently, hasn't it?" Grell asked. He was trying to start a conversation but William was too interested in looking at the sky to notice. 

"I suppose," William replied. 

"Hey, are you okay?" Grell reached out and placed his hand on William's. William, unsure of how to react, ignored it. He looked at Grell's expression, the first time the two had made eye contact that night. A lot was hidden behind Grell's eyes. He noticed it all. There was fear, but not a fear William understood. 

"No, I'm not," he answered honestly. He knew something was wrong but he couldn't place what it was. Grell was an easy person to divulge secrets to. Perhaps it was one of the redhead's secret talents. William didn't understand it. 

Grell smiled, "Yeah, I'm not really okay either," he admitted. It was Grell's turn to look up at the stars. "But, there a lot of things wrong with me. Things wrong with my mind and things wrong with my heart." 

"I don't believe anything is wrong with you, Mr. Sutcliff," William said. "In fact, you might be one of the very few people I cannot find faulty. From what I can tell, you might act on your emotions and do things without fully thinking, but there isn't anything necessarily wrong with that." William could only wish that he could allow himself to feel things as freely as Grell could. He admired those that weren't afraid of emotions. 

"Really? I think you're the better one out of the two of us," Grell began. "You're responsible and don't let your emotions rule your life. I've always wanted to be like that." 

The two looked at each other for a moment. The wind rustled the trees' leaves. The air grew colder. The sky became more clear which allowed the moon to shine on them. It would be considered romantic by anyone's standards, but William didn't truly understand the word. He didn't know what the emotion growing inside him was. He just knew that right now, at this moment, there was something about Grell that he knew to be true, and his mouth blurted it out without a second thought. 

"You're beautiful." The words escaped William's lips before he could process them. When he realized what he had said, he averted his gaze to the stars again and tried to explain away what he said in a way that made it less strange. "I apologize, that's not really something a married man with a kid should tell a student, but it's true. Everything in the universe is different and holds it's own beauty. The problem is we can't tell what makes ourselves beautiful so we must ask that other people do instead. Often times, people are too busy searching for what makes them beautiful and never stop to express to another person what makes them special," William spoke slightly faster than usual. He was unsure if the words he said made the slightest bit of sense but he knew he wanted to say them. He knew he had to say them, or he would regret not saying anything. 

"You're married?" Grell removed his hand from William's. "Of course you're married," he laughed, although it seemed nervous. William was pleased that Grell didn't seem worried about the comment he made, but displeased that he was so focused on the marriage. Such pleasure mixed with displeasure disturbed him. He felt the need to explain things to Grell. The need was unnecessary but he decided to follow through with the strange notion that he had to explain things to a practical stranger. 

"I'm married, yes, but we didn't marry for love," William let out a sigh. "I'm unable to truly love someone, you see, and one circumstance leads to another which forced us into a relationship neither of us would've agreed to otherwise," William paused. There was a feeling in the center of his being, a feeling of dread washed over him, a realization that scared him. "I'm not entirely certain he is faithful to me. I don't know why he would be. I've spent the entirety of my life unloved, why would my own spouse love me?"

"May I ask about the circumstances that brought you two together?" Grell asked. 

William took off his glasses and grabbed the bridge of his nose. He closed his eyes for a moment before placing his glasses back on his face and resting his hand at his side once again. He didn't know how else to phrase his words, so he spoke bluntly, without care, "He fucked my sister. She got pregnant, died in childbirth, and left a kid in the world. We're tied together by his guilt and my sorrow."

"Oh my god, I'm so sorry," Grell hugged William. Was there something to be sorry about? Was there a reason to be embraced? Even if William couldn't find the answers to his questions, he didn't think this hug was uncomfortable. 

"I can't even begin to understand what you're going through, what you've been through, but I can assure you of one thing," Grell promised, "I love you. Even if no one else does, even if everyone hates you, even if you hate yourself or things out of your control, I will  _always_  love you."

William had heard words similar to this before. Sebastian had said them. When Sebastian had said them, William had hoped desperately that he was speaking the truth, but he knew somewhere in his being that it wasn't the case. However, when Grell said these words, he found himself wishing, believing almost, that he was correct. A part of him could trust Grell, could sense that Grell wasn't lying, but truly believed every word that he said. 

"Do you believe in fate, Mr. Sutcliff?" William asked. The question familiar to them both, as Grell had just recently asked the same thing. 

"I cannot say that I don't," Grell released his grip on William and smiled. 

"Well, I don't," William began, "but I'm beginning to think there might be some truth to the concept." 

"I'm pleased to hear that." 

The two returned to William's empty apartment. It was only to talk, to each other, to get to know all of the things they didn't know, to release themselves from the bond of professor and student, to become better acquainted. However, one thing led to another, and William found himself wondering just how long Sebastian would be out that night. 


	16. Chapter Two: [Part Five]

"You look awful. Was your student that terrible?" William spoke to Sebastian. He hoped desperately that Sebastian wouldn't smell the obvious scent of a stranger in their apartment. He would rather like to avoid explaining to his husband that he'd had an affair so soon after he'd just had it. Sebastian looked truly awful, this wasn't news he particularly needed to hear right at this moment. William wasn't being honest, but he wasn't being dishonest, so he wasn't going against his code. 

"You don't know the half of it," Sebastian took two steps forward and rested his head on William's shoulder. William didn't understand why this was necessary. "This must be some sort of twisted joke. Is this my karma coming back to bite me?" Sebastian's words struck a chord within William. Karma, now that might be an interesting concept. Perhaps it was simply karma that William had slept with another man, Sebastian had done plenty of terrible things to ruin people's relationships in college. Knowing that, William didn't feel guilty, (not that he had felt guilty, to begin with). 

However, he didn't want to take any chances that Sebastian might observe something out of the ordinary. In order to ensure this, he would have to do something surprisingly out of character to shock Sebastian. What was he complaining to himself about earlier? William not showing any signs of affection? Not caring enough? William didn't know what would make him seem more caring...so he tried a hug. He was so dreadful at hugging people, but that just might shock Sebastian enough to not pay attention to his surroundings. 

"Are you trying to comfort me?" Sebastian asked directly after William had attempted a hug. 

"I'm sorry, it was a mistake," William tried to undo his action. Sebastian returned the hug instead. Now, that was unexpected. William wasn't sure he liked this turn of events. 

"It's not a mistake. It's just a surprise."

"Michaelis, I know I don't say this often, or at all, but I don't despise being with you. I may or may not love you but one thing is for certain; I don't hate you. Not anymore," William explained. He wanted to make sure that when Sebastian found out about Grell, he knew that William didn't hate him. He also wanted to clear up the misunderstanding that William didn't feel anything about Sebastian. That wasn't the truth. He felt something, it just wasn't a strong emotion. It was something more similar to being fond of a pet fish. Now, that wasn't to say Sebastian was a fish, just how little William allowed himself to care for someone like Sebastian. 

When Sebastian didn't reply, he decided to change the subject. "I saved you some dinner," he said. He tried to escape Sebastian's embrace. It was futile. Sebastian just held him closer. 

"I'm sorry," Sebastian whispered. Where was this coming from? What had Sebastian done? William's arms fell to his sides. He was incredibly confused. 

"Why are you apologizing? Shouldn't I be the one sorry here?" he asked. William should be apologizing. He'd just slept with someone, in this very apartment, and hadn't said a word about it. Did Sebastian already know? Was he saying 'sorry' because he hadn't loved William enough? Or, was it something else entirely? William was more in the wrong here than Sebastian. Hell, he was even trying to feed Sebastian food he'd made for Grell. 

 "I'm sorry, you might not understand why I'm sorry right now but I am," Sebastian explained. "I don't want you to feel like you have to force yourself to be more outwardly caring..."

"What nonsense are you speaking? This isn't like you, Michaelis," William replied. He had no idea what Sebastian was talking about. Did he feel bad because William had tried to hug him? Why on earth was that something to apologize for? What was going on inside that brain of his? 

Sebastian released William and went to seek out the plate of food. He ate it so quickly that William began to wonder about Sebastian's activities. Surely tutoring a student didn't take this long. Why was he some so late? There was only one explanation that crossed William's mind...Sebastian had sex. Either with the student or with someone else. William was agitated by this, but not surprised. He didn't have a right to be angry. 

"You're eating quite fast. You haven't eaten this fast since the time you bedded three women in one night and were stressing about if they knew about it. This student of yours..." William couldn't finish the sentence. He didn't actually want to know the truth, even if he suspected it. 

"Is a real shit, the highest quality shit, but still shit," Sebastian finished William's sentence for him.

"Is interested in you sexually," William didn't appreciate Sebastian's comment. He finished his sentence out of spite. He had intended to let it go, but now he simply decided to say it for the hell of it. William wanted to see Sebastian's reaction. 

"Of course not. I mean, sure, I'm devilishly good looking but I haven't had a kid come after me. Most of them are too interested in people their age," Sebastian laughed. William almost felt guilty. It would've been easier to face up to his own crime if Sebastian had committed the same one...but what if he hadn't? What if William had been the one to ruin the marriage? Somehow...the irony of it all almost brought him guilt, but he pushed it to the side. 

"Is that so?" William folded and unfolded his hands. He pondered the idea of if he should confess right here and now. He had told himself he wouldn't, he'd made that decision, but maybe it would be better to come clean rather than wait for Sebastian to find out on his own. "Michaelis," he paused again...unsure of if he should really do it. This decision might end the relationship which would put Claude in an awkward situation. He didn't that. 

"I don't know how else to say this so I'm just going to put it bluntly," William stopped folding his hands. He opened his mouth but the confession didn't come out. His brain stopped it. Instead, a question escaped, one that William had never once thought about asking before. "Have you lost all interest in me?"

"What?" Sebastian looked confused. He had every right to be confused. William was confused too. But, since his brain was so keen as using this as his escape instead of confessing his sins...he decided to run with it as if it was what he intended all along. 

"Hav-" William was about to repeat the question but Sebastian cut him off.

"Yeah, yeah, I heard what you said but where is this coming from?" Sebastian asked. 

"There has been a noticeable decrease in your attempts to have sex with me," William reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone. Luckily, he had the perfect thing to show Sebastian that would make it all the more believable that he was really intending to ask this question: a chart. William often created charts in order to calm his brain down. Just recently he'd created a chart of Sebastian's urge to have sex. There truly was a decrease in Sebastian's attempts. It was the most 'William' thing William could come up with to escape the awkwardness of him about to explain the affair. 

"You made a chart?" 

"Yes, I made a chart. I make charts. Don't act like this is a strange thing. It's no stranger than you having a notebook filled with tally marks to represent how many pants you managed to get into," William said. He'd found the notebook a while back and thought it to be absolutely stupid. Wait, this wasn't about that...he should apologize. "Ah, no, I apologize. I wasn't intending on being snarky. I just wanted to check on your health."

"You think something is wrong with my health if I'm not having sex with you?" Sebastian raised an eyebrow. Was it that strange? This guy was a sex monster. He lived and breathed off of sex the entirety of the time the two knew each other. If He wasn't having sex, he wasn't truly Sebastian. Why was he so shocked by this?

"If you aren't having sex with me you're either having sex with someone else or not having sex at all. If you aren't having sex at all then yes, I'm quite concerned, because I'd like to plan for the end of the world," William explained. "Since that would be the  _only_ time your sex craving body would cease craving sex." Never in his life did William think he'd have to explain Sebastian's cravings to Sebastian. Didn't Sebastian know how strange he was?

Sebastian put the plate back on the table. "If you were that interested in having sex you could've just asked." Ah, of course, Sebastian  _would_ take it  _that_ way. The idiot. Why was he so interested in sex now? William didn't know what was more infuriating...this situation or Sebastian's unwillingness to admit he had a problem.

"It wasn't my intention to bring you to that conclusion," William said. Against William's hopes, Sebastian moved closer to him. He closed the gap and made his moves.

"So you don't want to then?" he asked, just inches away from William's face. No, William didn't want to. He most certainly didn't want to have sex with Sebastian. Not because he didn't want to have sex with Sebastian, but because he didn't want to have sex with Sebastian. He'd  _just_  slept with someone not even an hour before Sebastian had gotten back. He wasn't going to out himself because Sebastian saw a hickey that he clearly hadn't placed. Ridiculous. 

"There is the Michaelis I know," William breathed a sigh of relief. It was forced, but this was an act, and Sebastian wouldn't know he was faking it anyway. He was too stupid for that. "Glad to know you're not dying and the end of the world is not upon us," William said. He turned on his heel and exited the kitchen to make his way to the bedroom. He would fall asleep the minute his head hit the pillow. It was late and he'd had an  _eventful_  evening, to say the least. How much longer would he be able to keep this a secret from Sebastian? He wasn't sure he knew. He also wasn't sure he cared either. 


	17. Chapter Three: [Part One]

"Why do you wear a wig?" William asked. His curiosity had gotten to him. He'd never thought to ask before, but now that he was sitting inside Grell's apartment (in the same building as his, surprisingly) he found himself wanting to know the answer. 

"Oh, this old thing?" Grell held up the red wig. It looked so natural on his head when he wore it that not many people realized it was fake. It must be made of real dyed hair...that's why it seemed so realistic. William had thought about it for a long time. The reason he never noticed until Grell took it off must've been because he'd never looked at Grell that closely. Now he was, and William wasn't sure why he was paying so much attention to things he hadn't paid attention to before. 

"A while ago, before I knew what I was going to get a degree in...actually I still don't quite know...but anyway, I met this guy in a convenience store. I'd been working there part-time for a while and I'd seen a lot of people walk in but he just looked  _different,_ you know? I don't know how else to say it. He was just  _different_. He looked angry, his shirt was partially unbuttoned, and he didn't look like he knew himself what he was there for. He was just  _there_  and everyone would have to deal with it."

"What does this man have to do with you?" William asked.

"Well, I was a worker so I had to talk to him. I had to make sure he was finding everything he needed, you know, the usual stuff. When I finally mustered up the courage, I realized that he wasn't angry, it was just how he looked. It made me realize something. There are two sides to every person. I started wearing a wig, changing my style of clothes, and trying overall to bring about a different side of me. A side that was more confident. I couldn't dye my hair frequently so I saved up and bought a nice realistic looking wig," Grell explained. 

William pondered the story. Something about it felt familiar. He couldn't quite place what it was until he remembered all of the times he'd ever entered a convenience store (which wasn't often and made it fairly easy to create a list). "Sutcliff," William began to laugh. Grell found this a bit rude. He'd just explained something very important to him and here William was laughing. 

"It's so incredibly ironic how the world works," William laughed so hard he had to rest his head on the table in front of him to try and contain himself. When had he laughed last? It was likely there wasn't a moment in his life in which he found humorous, except for this tragic irony. 

"That man was me, Sutcliff," William explained. "If I had walked into that convenience store an hour or so before, a week, a month before I did then...I wouldn't have looked like that and you wouldn't have changed a bit. We wouldn't have met, no, maybe we would have...and then I wouldn't be in this situation that I'm in now." William's train of thought trailed off. As he thought about the past and all of the things that led him to this moment in time, he realized that it was all his own fault. If he hadn't provoked Sebastian into getting tested for STDs, Sebastian wouldn't have fucked his sister, she wouldn't have gotten pregnant, and William wouldn't be here married to a man that he didn't love. 

If you'd told William five years in the past that one day he would meet someone that caused him to regret the situation, he would stare at you confused. But, he was here, right now, feeling an emotion (if you could call it that) common to all human beings. It scared him. He was regretting the decisions that he'd made so long ago, things he couldn't change, he shouldn't be so concerned with the past. Grell was changing him and he didn't understand why, which terrified him even more. 

Grell walked over to William. He placed his hand on William's head. William hadn't bothered to sit up straight again. He was stuck to the table for no particular reason. "It's okay," Grell said. William knew it wasn't okay. He couldn't expect Grell to be okay with him, a married unfeeling man, as a partner. Grell deserved better than that. He couldn't find comfort in those words. 

William lifted his head and looked at Grell. The expression on Grell's face was genuine, he knew that, but he also knew it wasn't okay. These were the two things that he knew and they contradicted themselves. "Why?" he asked. 

"Why?" Grell repeated. "Why is it okay?" William didn't answer. "Well, you said it yourself, you and your husband are tied together because of a string of circumstances. You don't love him, which means, you could one day love me. Even if you don't, I love you and I'm always going to love you, William." 

"How can you be so certain of that? Emotions aren't concrete. You might love someone else in the future. There is no need for you to be fixated on me," William said. 

"I know because I know," Grell smiled. "There won't be another person in my life that I'll love as strongly as I love you. I feel it, William. I just know that to be true." 

"Because of fate?" William asked.

"Because of fate."


	18. Chapter Three: [Part Two]

Considering the fact that Grell lived so close by, it made it more and more difficult for William to try and avoid seeing him. In fact, he found himself  _wanting_  to see him for the simplest of reasons. He would come up with excuses  _just_  to visit Grell's apartment. Upon realizing this fact, he realized that he needed to put some sort of restraint on his behavior and held himself back from seeing Grell. As he should, obviously, he was a married man with a son. Frivolous campaigns to see a student he had no business seeing must cease.

There was a knock on the door and Claude hurried over to check who it was. He opened the door, against William's teachings, and saw the false redhead standing there. William shook his head and sighed, making his way to the door. When he made eye contact with Grell, he wasn't sure what to do or say. It had been a while since the two crossed paths. He never expected Grell to come to him. That wasn't in the cards; be tarot or playing, it wasn't in the cards.

"Grell? Why are you here?" Claude stared at Grell with inquiring eyes. It wasn't often that he tried to talk to someone he didn't know that well. Had Claude taken a liking to Grell? That could be bad in a number of ways.

"I've come to ask your father a question." Claude looked at Grell and then to William. He nodded in approval, William didn't know what he was approving, but he opened the door wider to allow Grell to enter. Claude then ran off and went about his business. Grell stood there, without entering, and looked at William for permission.

"You're already here so you might as well come in," William said. Grell entered and closed the door. William led him to the livingroom for him to take a seat. He was about to ask him what his question was but the door opened. Claude couldn't be bothered to run and see who it was this time. He knew it must be Sebastian. William knew that too, which made it all the more interesting. How was he to explain Grell's appearance here? He decided not to worry about it. Worrying would make things more difficult. Interesting scenario or not, he must remain calm.

"William?" Sebastian sauntered in with a kid at his side. The blue haired boy stared William in the eyes and began to cry.

"What did you do?" Sebastian asked William. "Was your face just that intimidating?" he laughed. William didn't reply.

"I'm so sorry," the boy said. He wiped his tears and immediately embraced William. "I'm so sorry," he repeated. Why was he doing this? They didn't know each other. What did he have to apologize for? Confusion, among other things, overwhelmed him. He jumped to conclusions trying to piece together something that made sense. His struggle didn't allow him to arrive at any one thing.

"I'm so sorry," he repeated for the third time. "You don't deserve this. You really don't. I can't believe they did that to you..."

William immediately knew what the kid was talking about now. There was only  _one_  thing. Only  _one_ 'they.' He pushed the boy off of him. He looked into his eyes with a face that held such concern, such fear, Sebastian and Grell both were worried at once.

"How do you know?" he asked. William had never told a soul in all of the years he'd been alive. "How do you  _know_?" his stone cold exterior wavering at a simple apology. Sebastian hadn't seen this happen before.

"My eye," he explained. "I can see into people's minds..."

"You have no right," William pushed past him. "You have  _no_  right," he grabbed his coat, forced on his shoes, and left. The door slammed behind him. He walked. Walking was the only thing he could do. One foot in front of the other. It was simple. It was easy. All he had to do was concentrate on the steps. He counted them. Distracting the mind with numbers was his skill.

He felt a hand on his shoulder and flinched with the contact. The familiar shade of red. Was it comforting? Was it concerning? William couldn't differentiate. "William, are you okay?" he asked. He must've known the answer. Why would he ask such a thing? William's mouth wasn't working. His vocal chords refused to utter a noise. His mouth hung there, open, but nothing escaped. He closed his mouth again which made his lips appear to look like a firm line. His thoughts drifted.

"William, if you don't tell me anything I won't know what's going on," Grell said. He was saying things William already knew to be true, but he couldn't vocalize anything at the moment. He was hearing the words but his body right now wasn't his own.

"You came here, why?" William's voice returned. He'd pushed the memory to the depths of his soul where it belonged and forgot about it altogether. "You came to my apartment to ask me a question, what was the question?"

Grell blinked in confusion. He seemed to understand that William didn't want to explain what had happened. So, he tried to explain why he had come. "You seemed to get really distant all of the sudden. I just wanted to check up on you, you know? Ask if you were okay," Grell averted his gaze for a moment. He scratched his own arm and tried to return eye contact again. Ah, so he noticed. People rarely noticed such things. Grell was too observant for his own good. William would have to make note of that if he wanted to protect himself in the future.

"William?" Grell waved his hand around in front of William's face but the college professor looked much paler than normal. He wasn't responding. He could hear, he could see, but he couldn't breathe and his body was rebelling against him.

William fell. He fell to the ground and lost consciousness. Grell panicked. "Oh my god, William? William!" he screamed at William but the sound of his voice was swiftly fading.

 


	19. Chapter Three: {Part Three}

"You look pale," Sebastian handed Ciel a cup of tea. The student's tears had finally stopped. "Are you regretting your decision to blackmail me into seeing my spouse?"

"I thought your spouse was a blonde woman bitch and your kid was a nuisance. I didn't realize you had a husband with such a terrible childhood," Ciel sipped the tea. He was still shaken by what he had seen. It wasn't often that he gazed into the eyes of someone and witnessed such a vivid trauma. Most of the time he just got sensations, as he put them, soft feelings of the general personality. The last time he'd experienced real memories was such a long time ago, when he'd met his father's male concubine.

Sebastian had never heard a thing about William's parents, family, or childhood. He was beginning to understand why Terada was such an important person in his life. This only increased his sense of guilt about  _that_  situation. This situation was different. Who was that redhead? Why had he rushed after William so quickly? Quicker than he had? Was Sebastian jealous or simply angry with himself for being more concerned about his student (that had blackmailed him and traumatized his husband) over William?

"Are you feeling guilty?" Sebastian asked. He sat down and crossed his legs. Maybe he'd finally be free of Ciel if he'd realized what he'd done.

"I certainly feel guilty for bringing up his memories," Ciel confessed. "He doesn't deserve to live through that again," Ciel cringed just thinking about what he'd seen. "I feel a bit bad that I've caused you to betray him. He doesn't deserve that either. But, Mr. Michaelis, I will not feel bad for claiming you. You are not his soulmate. I'll prove that to you eventually."

"Something has happened to father!" Claude rushed into the room. He'd been there when William ran out but he'd left to calm down in some hideaway. Now he was back, looking frantic, and unsure of what to do.

"Try to relax," Sebastian leaned forward to face his child. "What do you mean?"

"Something has happened. I can  _feel_  it. I know it," Claude began to cry. The sound of sirens and an ambulance whizzing by was ill timed. Was that...? William was he...?

"Claude, this is my student Ciel, he is going to look after you," Sebastian tried not to sound panicked in any way. "I'm going to go see what happened to your father. Be good for him, okay?" Claude nodded. He wanted to follow Sebastian but he didn't bother asking to, he somehow knew the answer to that question.

Sebastian left to follow the ambulance to the nearest hospital. Was William even there? Hopefully not. He didn't bother to grab his coat or lock the door behind him. He just left. He saw the redhead in the corner of his eye. Ugh. Who was this guy? Irritated and agitated he tried to maintain a sense of calmness. He wasn't jealous. Why should he be? William would never have the guts to cheat on him. William wasn't like Sebastian, after all. He was too straight-laced.

"You're Dr. Spears' husband, right?" The redhead ran over to him. "Do you know anything about what's going on with him right now?" he asked. "I'm his student, Grell Sutcliff. I hope he is okay. I live in the same apartment complex as you so it's really easy to ask him questions about things. It's so weird being caught up in this. I feel as if I barely know a thing about him."

"You're his student," Sebastian replied, rather harshly. "How much are you  _supposed_  to know about him?" Sebastian hadn't intended to be so rude. He didn't know Grell. He just didn't like the idea of someone being closer to William than him. Call it possession, call it love, call it whatever you want, but Sebastian refused to accept that there was someone out there that was closer to that stonecold man than he was.

"I suppose that's true," Grell laughed, albeit nervously. "I just hope he is okay. It's normal to be concerned, isn't it?"

. . .

"Are you his family member?" a nurse asked. Sebastian nodded. "I have good news, he is perfectly healthy. There isn't anything wrong with him physically but we will be keeping him overnight just to be certain," the nurse smiled and led Sebastian to William's room. The sight of William in a hospital bed brought back memories of William's sister on the day that she died. A sickening feeling overcame Sebastian. Would he manage to ruin two people's lives? To kill these two siblings? Just by  _existing_?

"Mr. Sutcliff," William looked at Grell, "Michaelis," he looked at Sebastian. "Why are you here?"

"Are you joking?" Sebastian scoffed. "You're in a hospital, William, why wouldn't I be here?"

"I'm not dying, Michaelis, there really isn't a need for you to be here," William said. He was being completely serious.

"Did the thought not cross your mind that I might be worried about you?" Sebastian asked. The question came out of nowhere. He wasn't sure what kind of response he'd get, but he certainly didn't think William would take it so seriously. He wanted some stupid retort. He wanted William to roll his eyes and respond with some sarcastic answer. Sebastian got neither of those things.

William looked at his hands and then up at Sebastian. His lips turned slightly upward in the smallest smile and his eyes overflowing with a sadness Sebastian never wanted to see again. "No, the thought has never crossed my mind that anyone would ever be worried about me. Michaelis, there hasn't been a person worried about me since the day I was  _born_. Don't take it personally when I tell you I don't understand how humans function because I have never once been treated as a human," William looked out the window of the hospital room before whispering, "not  _once_."

 


End file.
